Nyaruhodo :3
by ThatAverageDude
Summary: Pitou has some personal problems she needs to get rid off as soon as possible. Luckily, she'll find a human who's more than willing to help her with it :3 One-shot starring everybody's favourite kitty, Neferpitou and a random human getting lucky. Rated M for sexual themes, you've been warned guys!
**This story was originally written for an audience who weren't familiar with the HxH universe at all. Please note this is the reason why I never mention Nen, I deliberately did so. Also the reason why I never use Knov or Morel's name throughout the story. If you came for a quick read about Pitou getting some from a random human, by all means, enjoy :3**

* * *

It was silent inside the palace of East Gorteau. One would expect such a massive place to be bursting with activity, but this was not the case. Only a handful of individuals were present at the moment, and it was because four unique beings had taken over this massive home and eliminated everybody on their path.

The king and his three royal guards.

While the king was not even a year old, his purpose in life was already set from the moment he was born; rule the world. Truly, he was destined for this task, for there was no one as strong as he was. His three royal guards were loyal to him through and through, and did everything in their power to protect the king from any harm.

Youpi, a being who could sprout multiple limbs and body parts as he pleased, was pure muscle and strength. Pouf, the tactician of the three, had beautiful butterfly wings and used his wit rather than physical strength to overcome obstacles.

And then there was Pitou, the only female of the four. She had wavy white hair that went to her shoulders. Her ruby red eyes held a spark of mischief and curiosity, and she easily was the most intimidating of the three.

Two cat ears were present at the top of her head, and an equally white tail wagged behind her from the left to the right. Her hands were more shaped like claws, only having four fingers at each side and her knee caps were demarcated, much like an insect's.

To top it all off, she wore a simple blue overcoat with a couple of orange shorts and socks, and a pair of blue shoes. While she actually looked pretty adorable, it wasn't her appearance what made her so dangerous. No, it were her abilities and unbelievable strength.

The dark aura she could radiate from up to two kilometers in length was not only a warning sign for any potential threat to stay the hell away, but it also served as a sixth sense. Anyone who entered it was sure to be seen by this female, and it was the biggest reason she was the scout of the three.

Her other abilities included healing serious injuries, controlling dead humans from afar as puppets and enhancing her own physical strength, speed and endurance for a short period of time. Pitou, just like the other two royal guards and the king, was a chimera ant.

They were blessed with immense power; a normal human couldn't even touch them if they tried, but still, even with all this strength, Pitou had needs. One she didn't quite get the grasp of just yet.

''I don't understand,'' she muttered to herself. Sitting on one of the palace's peaks—which gave her a perfect view over the desert and the capital Peijing—her attention was directed to her lower tummy.

It was practically on fire, making Pitou squirm in discomfort. She had no idea why it felt so hot, or so sensitive, but it bothered her enough to ask Pouf about it.

''Pouf?'' she telepathically called out to her blonde haired brother.

''Is something the matter, Pitou?'' came the immediate reply from Pouf. He was currently reading a book while keeping an eye out on the king who was busy playing Gungi against his consort; a blind human girl named Komugi.

''There's something happening to my body. Why does the inside of my thighs feel like it's hotter than the sun? And it's steadily getting worse since yesterday. I tried to heal it myself, but it's not working.''

She almost panted, her tongue lolling out of her mouth as she did so.

There was some silence at the other end, before Pouf chuckled good-naturedly. ''Pitou, what you're experiencing is referred to by humans as going in heat. It just means your body is ready to mate, simple as that.''

Pitou raised one of her claws to her face in confusion. ''Then how do I solve this problem?''

Pouf chuckled once more. ''By mating of course, any healthy male human should suffice. Just make sure to discard of its body once you're done.''

The cat-like chimera ant grinned widely, her toes curled up at the prospect and her tail swayed excitedly from side to side. ''Nyow I understand. Thanks Pouf, I'll take care of my heat as quickly as possible.''

Closing her eyes, Pitou thought about the best plan of action, and soon had an idea formed in her head. It allowed her to prepare for her mating, and made sure a human male was coming to her at the same time, so she didn't have to leave her post. Twitching her ears in eagerness, she began to set her plan into motion immediately.

* * *

How difficult was it for a free-lance documentary maker to get into a country ruled by dictatorship? Pretty easy actually, because Darrell had no trouble entering East Gorteau in the slightest. In fact, the twenty-one year old human had encountered no resistance whatsoever when he crossed the border, and soon learned the reason why.

The supreme leader had ordered everybody to stay inside, and who didn't comply would get shot down without question. While this made it easier traveling from city to city to gather information, actually entering without being seen by the army was another task in itself.

But Darrell was a smart guy, he would figure something out, like he always did. His wild messy black hair bounced up and down as he sneaked behind a building to avoid being seen by a soldier on patrol. Having arrived at the capital of East Gorteau, Peijing, since yesterday, something immediately felt off.

These soldiers didn't feel right, almost as if they were being controlled like puppets on giant strings. Then there were these two incredibly strong humans, probably pro hunters, taking out the soldiers left and right without trouble, but never revealing themselves for too long.

They were so fast, Darrell could only catch glimpses of them, before they seemed to disappear into thin air. The free-lancer didn't like the situation one bit; something bigger was going on, and he didn't want to be part of it in the slightest. Originally, he came here to get as close to the royal palace as humanly possible, but only looking at the massive building from afar gave him the creeps.

His gut told him to run far away from here a long time ago, but for some reason, he'd stayed. Why, he didn't know. Was it pride? His stubbornness? Shaking his head to get rid of these thoughts, he instead focused on getting as much video footage as possible.

''This is crazy,'' he whispered to himself. His palms were sweaty, knees weak and arms were heavy, yet he kept on filming the oblivious soldiers that adorned almost every rooftop. Just then, the sound of an engine in the distance broke the relative silence.

Straining his ears, Darrell could hear it came from the direction of the royal palace, and soon enough, a very fancy Rolls Royce came strolling in. The free-lancer gasped at the car, for it was no other than the supreme leader who was in it, stepped out in the middle of the street, and let his cold gaze wander over the buildings.

Darrell almost choked on fear when the dictator suddenly let his gaze rest on him, even though he was perfectly hidden. It was almost like he could smell the free-lancer's anxiety, because not a second later, two soldiers had found the fear ridden human, and forcefully brought him in front of the supreme leader.

Cold sweat poured from his face. Darrell knew he was in very big shit and probably was going to pay for it with his life. What he didn't know was that the supreme leader was as dead as the soldiers who patrolled the capital, controlled by Pitou as mindless dolls from afar.

So it wasn't weird at all when Pitou grinned inside the palace, the supreme leader did the exact same thing, reflecting the ant's anticipation. ''What is your name, young man?'' Pitou asked through the dictator's mouth.

Muscles tensed, pupils dilated and with a heart that threatened to stop beating right then and there, the free lancer uttered his reply, ''D-Darrell, sir!'' He bowed deeply, knowing he had no control over the situation from this point, or those two pro hunters had to save him right now.

Fat chance.

The supreme leader seemed pleased with his answer, because beyond Darrell's comprehension, he offered him his hand to help him up. Tentatively, he took his hand, nausea threatening to overwhelm him as his brain tried to find a logical answer why he wasn't executed yet.

''You don't have to be afraid, Darrell. I require your service in my palace immediately. Please get in the car.''

The dictator almost seemed to fidget with his fingers, something that was highly out of character. Even more important, why was _his_ service needed of all things? What could he offer this terrifyingly powerful man that he couldn't obtain himself?

Not about to question his immense luck, he got in the car, keeping his hidden camera rolling all the way. The engine of the Rolls Royce roared back to life, and soon drove off, back the way it came from. In fact, Pitou was so focused on getting this human to her, she promptly forgot about the supreme leader, who comically began to jog back after his own car.

Luckily nobody noticed, for the sole reason they were all locked inside their house, except Darrell, who had to muster all his courage to make a comment about it. ''Uhm, shouldn't the supreme leader step in first?'' he almost squeaked.

As if a veil was removed from Pitou's eyes, she noticed her mistake. Hissing like a cat, she stopped the car and waited before the dictator had caught up with it. The free-lancer wisely kept his mouth shut, mainly because the driver had just hissed at him.

The ride was uneventful after that, but the closer he came to those palace walls, the more nervous he began to feel. His gut told him something major was going down, and he had a feeling he soon was about to find out.

''Follow me,'' the dictator spoke once they had stepped out of the Rolls Royce. The Palace was huge, but surprisingly empty, Darrell noted. He'd heard different voices echoing in the hallways, but didn't see who they belonged to, and those were usually few and far between too.

Ascending a spiraling staircase, the duo reached a closed door; probably a quest room of sorts. ''Your services are expected in here,'' the supreme leader stated simply, before promptly leaving the human alone.

Darrell didn't like this one bit. Something was on the other side, something menacing, something very powerful. Was he going to be its food?

Thinking a mile a minute, the human weighted his options. He could always try to run away, he'd a big chance nobody would—No! That was not an option. That thing inside would immediately notice. Gulping, he had no other choice but to go in.

The door creaked loudly on its hinges when Darrell opened it, and once he could peer inside, something very peculiar was staring back at him. It was Pitou, but for the free-lancer who had never seen a chimera ant before, she looked like a hybrid to him; half cat, half human.

Pitou had taken this time to read on the subject of sex, what humans liked to do to, their preferences in bed; all to get this human in the mood in order to help her get rid of this feeling in her crotch area as quickly as possible.

Her smile was lustful and her eyes half closed; she'd practiced this technique for the last ten minutes just to seduce him. ''Hey there, hottie,'' she purred, trying to sound casual as she used the foreign word. ''Please, come inside.''

Darrell was baffled. He'd never seen such an unique being before, and she instantly was hitting on him. It was actually pretty adorable. Surely, she couldn't be the source of all that wrongness he'd just sensed?

''Hi, name's Darrell,'' he greeted the female before closing the door. ''You were in need of my services?''

She nodded her head enthusiastically, her senses screaming for her to just ravish him on the spot. ''I'm Pitou,'' she replied cutely, closing the distance between them rather effectively.

The free-lancer had to blink a couple of times as Pitou was suddenly in front of his face, while a moment ago, she was at the other end of the room. In an instant, Darrell could feel the raw power radiate from Pitou, making him feel like an insignificant ant in comparison to her.

Shivering in fear, he knew she had the strength to snap him in half like a twig if she wanted, and had to do his best to keep standing straight.

''Don't be afraid,'' Pitou cooed, ''I'm not going to hurt you, that would defeat the purpose why I brought you here.'' She giggled before giving him a wink, tail wrapping around his body.

''T-then _why_ am I here?'' The human stuttered, knowing the answer already but not believing it yet.

Darrell's breath hitched when Pitou decided to show instead of reply; slowly bringing his lips to hers to meet in a soft kiss. She was gentle, almost afraid she would hurt him, yet eager at the same time.

Pitou had never done something like this before, and the feeling was exhilarating, sloppily trying to deepen the kiss, but having no clue how to do this properly.

The human loved the feeling of her body pressed against his, her perky breasts and her subtle curves made her very alluring. The fact that she was literally purring like a cat while they were kissing made a weird kind of arousal awaken in him, especially when he felt her tongue against his lips, almost reluctantly asking for entrance like she wasn't sure about it.

The chimera ant was horny, that much was certain, but her eagerness and inexperience made Darrell conclude she was a virgin in every right. Letting out a weak moan when he felt Pitou began to hump her body against his, he slowly opened his mouth to give her access.

Her tongue was rough, like sandpaper, but even this was a turn on for the free-lancer as she curiously began to explore his mouth, mixing her warm saliva with his. She tasted sweet, like tangerines, and he blushed when he felt her body grind against his crotch.

Pleasure was already welling up in Pitou's body, her soft cunny was getting damp from humping Darrell, and his mouth was so hot and wet on her tongue, it made the chimera ant shiver in delight.

Slowly, she broke the kiss, cheeks feeling warm and panting hotly as a string of saliva connected their mouths.

Chuckling, Darrell gave her a peck on the nose, eliciting a soft gasp from the chimera ant, before he spoke his thoughts, ''you've never done this before, haven't you?''

Blushing, she shook her head, actually feeling embarrassed he managed to figure it out so soon. The free-lancer felt an odd sense of power; here was this being that could kill him in the blink of an eye, yet was unsure of how to approach the subject of sex with him.

This time, Darrell took the initiative and went in for a kiss, surprising Pitou, who quickly melted in his embrace. The burning in her loins only got worse as she felt his tongue slip into her own mouth.

She wanted him to fuck her so bad, but had no idea why she didn't act upon these feelings yet. Making out was pretty fun though, Pitou thought, and understood why humans did it.

The teeth of the chimera ant were as sharp as razors, and Pitou had to be extra careful that she didn't cut off part of his tongue while it was exploring her maw.

The human groaned when he felt Pitou hump his crotch more wantonly, which got his dick rock hard, ready to be released from its cottony confines. Her tits were pressed firmly against his chest, and he couldn't help but let his hands roam all over her perfect butt.

Pitou let him, the extra stimulation only making her wetter as she wrestled her tongue with Darrell's, entering a state of pure bliss. At last, the human broke the kiss, giving the chimera ant a reassuring smile.

''What do you like me to do to you, my mistress?'' he whispered, feeling her tail tickle his neck and cheeks. Her cat ears twitched at the words, and gently, like he was a priced possession, let him over to the bed in the back.

Lying him down, she didn't even bother removing her clothes, and instead ripped a hole at her crotch area, showing Darrell her incredibly wet and soft pussy. It quivered in desperate need, so it wasn't a surprise when she moved her thighs between his head, and eagerly pressed her damp slit against his lips.

''Kiss it,'' she commanded, ''make me feel good.''

The human complied without too much trouble. She smelled a bit earthy, and the unmistakably arousing aroma of a horny female made Darrell's dick throb with desire. He kissed her cunny lovingly, letting the exotic taste of her fluids enter his mouth.

Pitou hissed, the incredible sensation of the human's lips on her pussy made her feel like she was in heaven. Pleasure went through her spine as Darrell began to use his tongue to lick her lips, absolutely loving how she tasted.

Gradually, she began to move her hips, adoring how Darrell was doing his absolute best to make her feel special. The tiny sparks of pleasure were turned up tenfold when the human suddenly pushed his tongue inside, making Pitou cry out.

''Yes!'' She moaned, tongue lolling out of her mouth, ''nyow I understand why humans love this so much!''

Her blush only intensified when Darrell began to bump his nose against her clit, her warm walls contracting agains his tongue as he tried to go as deep as possible.

It had been a while since Darrell had done cunnilingus, but the moaning female above him told him that he was doing an excellent job. He was painfully hard, but decided to ignore it for now, instead focusing entirely on Pitou's hot snatch as he began to suck on her clit, making the chimera ant visibly shudder.

It was like Pitou was in another universe, and she desperately wanted to repay this human however she could. Thinking quickly about what she could do in return, she smiled to herself when she had an idea.

Moving her tail to his crotch, she efficiently removed his pants without tearing them, tucking them down until it had reached his ankles, before repeating the process with his underwear.

Darrell's dick twitched in the cold air, and he wondered what she was going to do, before her amazingly soft tail grabbed the base of his member, and she began to stroke it up and down.

The reaction was immediate, the human moaned, looking appreciatively at the blushing face of Pitou, who grinned back widely at Darrell, still busy burying his tongue into her quivering vent.

''Good boys get rewarded,'' she praised between squeaks, her warm pussy still leaking fluids inside his mouth. Up and down she went on his shaft, her fluffy tail being extra careful not to hurt him in any way.

Pre began to form on his tip, and Pitou began to speed up her movements, making the human in turn speed up as well. Finally, the chimera ant felt her orgasm approach, Darrell's tongue almost buried to the hilt inside her, making her feel high on euphoria.

Smiling devilishly, she moved her tail from the human's throbbing member, wetting it in her own arousal before placing it between his legs. Darrell widened his eyes in surprise when he felt Pitou's soaked tail prodding his asshole, and before long, she found her mark as she pushed in.

The free-lancer cried out at the new feeling; he felt oddly stretched, yet it didn't hurt at all. ''I read anal play can induce orgasms by males,'' Pitou huffed, close at hitting her own climax.

True to her words, the human's prostate began to respond to the furry intruder, making Darrell's dick twitch with excitement. Pitou was way to good at this, because once she found the spot he responded most to, she hit it every time, her tail playing with his rectum and anal virginity like a pro.

She never went in too far, but a great deal of her tail disappeared and came back out in a steady rhythm nonetheless. The human moaned at this new strange sensation, but was powerless to stop it. Not that he would if he could anyway.

Just then, Pitou gave him a warning, ''I'm about to cum.'' She panted cutely, not sure if she could finish on his face or not. Darrell thought it was absolutely adorable that she warned him beforehand, and gave just a little bit of more effort to give her the best orgasm of her life.

Also her first orgasm, but Darrell didn't know that.

With a loud cry, Pitou came, surprised by the human's increase of eagerness as her walls convulsed into spasms and her body went into a realm of pure ecstasy. Her state of after pleasure was incredible, Pitou's aroused moans loud enough to warn the other royal guards and even the king.

''Pouf, Youpi, what's going on with Pitou?'' the king asked without taking his gaze off of the Gungi board. He was losing again! How was it possible? He was sure he had Komugi's archer and spy trapped, but with two quick moves she had nullified his ambush. and now, she had him almost checkmate.

''Nothing to worry about, your highness. She's just relieving herself from some personal matters,'' Pouf responded respectfully.

Youpi just grunted, not even trying to understand what was happening. First Pouf who was in tears yesterday, then Pitou who screamed to the heavens that same day, and now she's moaning so loud he was sure she broke some window glasses.

Meanwhile, Pitou was busy jerking off Darrell with her soft tail again, his tongue still giving her cute little licks as she squirmed at how sensitive her wet cunny felt after her orgasm. The human had lapped up her hot cum like a treat, which she found arousing as hell, and she was now whispering dirty little things in his ear.

''Did you like what I gave to you? You must enjoy my tail on your cock, you dirty boy. Soon, it'll be inside my pussy, wouldn't you like that?''

She gave him an innocent look, one that made Darrell want to fuck her even more. How he hadn't orgasmed himself yet was a mystery, Pitou's tail was so pleasurable around his shaft, he was sure he could blow any second. But to his disappointment, she stopped her tailjob, and instead winked seductively while moving backwards.

His disappointment was soon replaced with euphoria as Pitou's snatch now had his cock sandwiched, rubbing it teasingly between her thighs. ''It would be a waste if you didn't shoot all your cum deep inside me, right?''

The human couldn't agree more, and responded by thrusting his pelvis upwards in earnestness to get more stimulation. ''T-then let me fuck you like the animal you are,'' he suggested boldly, grunting at the heavenly feeling around his dick.

Pitou on her end, gasped at the lewd imagine her head came up with it. She instantly removed herself from Darrell, before getting on all fours. Butt raised high into the air, and tail turned upwards, she gave him her most pleading set of eyes, shaking her tush for emphasis.

She never would've imagined that she would be so submissive to a human ever, but it was all worth it in the end. When Pitou felt Darrell's weight on her back, his hard manhood rubbing her pussy just right before plunging it in deeply, she couldn't help but hiss in pure arousal.

The chimera ant felt complete, he was rutting her just right without holding back, taking himself to the hilt again and again. Wet slaps and the sound of moans echoed through the room, Darrell groping Pitou's tits through her blue overcoat, enjoying the tight sensation her cunt provided on his member.

''Nyaaa~'' Pitou mewled, losing every sense to pleasure as she was taken by this human. Her walls clenched on the hot intruder, desperate to keep it in, but never winning the fight as Darrell moved out again. His thrusts became wild, almost animalistic as he fucked Pitou in a wild frenzy, content in finishing inside her.

The free-lancer knew this was a losing battle; his inevitable end was approaching way too fast, augmented by the adorable mewls Pitou uttered every time he was balls deep inside of her. He could tell he was giving this cat lady a great time she wouldn't soon forget, and found himself enjoying the fact he was about to cum inside a being who could rip him to shreds if she wanted to.

''Almost there,'' he grunted between thrusts, never stopping as he took Pitou again and again. The female purred in pure delight, uttering to him that it was ok and actually spurring him on to do it.

She didn't have to ask twice, with a final push, he connected his hips to hers, groaning loudly as he pumped a big load of his semen far inside her womb. Spurt after spurt filled the chimera ant, who could only take it as she went over the edge herself, milking him for all what he was worth.

Tired and sweaty, he let his body rest on the much stronger female, enjoying the closeness and state of after pleasure with her as she wrapped her tail around his face in a cute manner.

No words had to be spoken, a smile was all it took to make Pitou come to a realization: no way in hell was she going to kill Darrell.

He hadn't seen a thing inside the palace, only her, and if the hunters in Peijing wanted to interrogate him, let them do it. She also made sure that when the day arrived all the humans in East Gorteau were going to be selected as food or puppets for the king to use, Darrell was to be excluded. She would save him by making him her personal servant, and then they could have fun everyday.

''You know, you're pretty adorable,'' Darrell complimented while her tail was still wrapped around his head, even though he was slowly pushing out, her tail didn't let him go. Pitou's cheeks lit up, she found the attention this human gave her way too cute, and purred while rubbing her head with his.

''You should go, the supreme leader will escort you out,'' Pitou stated, kissing the bewildered human one last time, before letting him go completely.

''Will I see you again?'' the free-lancer asked, actually hoping the answer would be yes.

''When that time arrives, you will fuck me every day,'' she whispered naughtily, and lightly pushed him out the room. Smiling brightly, he followed the dictator outside, again encountering no one else. Once he was dropped off in Peijing, all the soldiers bowed to him like he was their leader, cheering words of praise to him for a job well done. It was actually pretty embarrassing.

Not soon after, the ground under his feet disappeared, and he suddenly found himself in a white square room with the two pro hunters that he caught glimpses of earlier. ''Yo,'' the bulky one greeted, while the bespectacled human stayed calm and collected. ''We saw you getting transported to the palace, care to tell us what happened?''

Collecting his thoughts, the free-lancer gave them both a shit-eating grin.

''Oh, you know, just showing Pitou what a pussy she is.''


End file.
